Menu for Mind: My journal writing.....(April 25, 2014)

Life is a never-ending process, which proceeds like cascading scene of water and rays of light. We experience many unexpected things in every second and these experiences give a lifelong lesson for one to take a step ahead. Here comes the packages of my everyday lives.

April 25, 2014 Friday

Hey friends,
These days music plays a pivotal role in keeping me alive. And I am following the way it treats me.It keeps me engaged when the sudden sense of loneliness merely to swim through the veins of my brain. I feel I am experiencing the era of reformations and evolution in me. I never realize that the music would bring sheer impact to an isolated, depressed and lonely mind. It really feeds the mind of those mad and restless people. I am also one in the list. Thus, I respect music as a psychiatrist.

Now, the music miscalled me and realized me the real colors of it. Therefore, I am proceeding to a new brand of project that is upcoming CG show.

Viewers, I am neither a choreographer nor a dancer. However, I follow the nature of trees when the sudden gusts of wind strike on it, its leaves move uniformly. For me, music seems a real cream of my act and it determine whether I should slither like snake or roll like watermelon.

Friends, you may be wondering about my working days in college. Yes, I respect to the career I am holding.

These days’ assignments are piling up and I don’t feel like I am in pressure. I feel everything is okay and everything is going smoothly. But as I go through the work plan, I was far behind. And now I realized music played vital role in keeping tension and depression away from me and leading my life as happy as the life of king and queen.

Today at around 8; 30 pm we had a rehearsal in auditorium. I was one among eight members dancing Nepali song. It was really interesting and mind-blowing. I was dancing Nepali song for the first time and I found it very good. And I was influenced by its beauty. So, I realized every individual has its own beauty and we should not differentiate the racial, cultural and habits of the people. They are same and they enjoy what we do.

Music is life and it is the light in a darkness that clears traumatic behavior and paving the path towards independent world. Do enjoy the charm of music and try to grapes the opportunity that come by. And I am hoping for the better result in the upcoming real competition.

April 26, 2014 Saturday

Hard but memorable

It was around 8:30 am we 2^nd and 3^rd year’s friends started to do volunteering work in maintaining the road that leads toward newly established guesthouse. And I was really happy to be one among them. I was fortunate enough to be a part of today’s day as I was able to contribute something good for the college which will ultimately helped the college to maintain its dignity. It infect was very tough, hard and difficult but it was memorable and mind-blowing. We started the work with cooperation and end up with remarkable output. There were no free riders and together we sailed the common boat. And I was really appreciated by the hard work shown by our Director, club adviser Karma jurmy and other faculties. I found the day was awesome and short because Director cracked many jokes and our hard work went simultaneously. It was sad to see blisters, red palm, salty tears and scorching sun but I was never regretted to have this all. I was rather proud to have this challenging task as I at least contributed once in this blue moon. Moreover those tasks helped me to develop some working skills that will ultimately help me sometimes in somewhere. Refreshment was served and lunch was served deliciously. And our working day was end at 4:30 pm.

My happiness: CG Nepali dance April 26, 2014 Sunday

I was excited all these days to display my practiced talent to the audience. Actually it was my first time to dance this song but I found it best. But I don’t know how good it was for others. My heart started jumping like a balloon that is being filled with helium. But I did not give damn on it rather I showed my talents to the fullest. And I was happy to experience the positive laughter and feedbacks from the audience.

Many a time’s people use to say winning are not important but participation is important. So I too followed that philosophy and danced. But I was happy to hear that our CG 7 has got 2^nd where I was one among the CG. Nothing is imperfection if you use it but everything is imperfection if you don’t use it. Use your skill that you feel guilty to display it. You will feel and read the colour of your guilty in special way as you really feel its beauty as you receive grand fame from it.

Your imperfection may be perfection for others. Try to display, you will like it and enjoy it.

April 28, 2014 Sunday

Today the day was very good. I was very happy to have our class picnic once again after long time back. It is the only way to maintain togetherness among the class. We journeyed toward picnic sport around 7am and we reached there by 7:40 am. Picnic sport was very good which is nearby Dumdum River. It is very much to be appreciated as some of our friends made their way around 5am and prepared breakfast for us. Soon after we reached there we started to have breakfast and tea. It was very delicious to have the breakfast together in a big circle.

In between we had some photo session and video making. Some danced and enjoyed. Some swim and refreshed. It was all mixture. Moreover we started to prepare lunch and individual has taken care of one’s role. Lunch was outstanding and delicious. It was verities. It’s all made from beef curry, Amadatse, Alu Daam, fish curry, cheese fizzy drinks and hard drinks.

Lunch was started around 1pm. I took it to the best of I can as I was really famished. We spent 40 minutes taking lunch. After that we danced some traditional dance in a big circle. And there we enjoyed the dance running up and down. Some they started to drink hard drinks. And I enjoyed fizzy drinks. I laughed and enjoy but it was amazing to see that some of my friends cried and enjoy especially the one who enjoyed drinking hard drinks. May be they were fully under controlled by hard drinks.

Swimming is my hobby and I spent around one hour in that River and there were many like me swimming. So the day was indeed memorable and we were back at around 5pm and it was quite tired and exhausted. But I was happy and satisfied.

April 28, 2014 Monday

The day was started in a lazy and drowsy way. It did happen as I was still drowned in the sea of yesterday’s picnic. My stomach started to produce sound which I did not give damn but it gradually suppressed my energy and I felt so weak. And it insisted me to go to toilet and I found I was getting diarrhea. But I did not miss the regular class which I never used to and will never be.

I was happy and satisfied as my group did presentation on guided writing which I prepared for so long. I felt the overall presentation was well and good. I found my friends have understood the meaning of guided writing. And I have got positive feedbacks from module tutor.

It was quite reluctant to go down in auditorium because I was still having traces of stomach ache. But I heard Minister of economic affair (Norbu Wangchuk) is to visit in our auditorium. I realized the great people will have greatness in them and they will always give the wisdom. So keeping that in mind I journeyed down. We gather together and after 6 minutes he stepped in accompanied by our director. The room was very hot in fact and frequent tear started to have from all over the body. But this hardship was tolerated by all of us.

Our director has started welcome speech and handover platform to minister. He gave us very essential knowledge in the form of slide. Presentation comprises of many important ingredients like lifelong skills.

He has rightly stated that:

It is important to choose selflessness over selfish;

Honesty over cheating;

Forgiveness over vengeance;

Care over callousness;

“You cannot give, what you do not have”

29^th April, 2014 Tuesday

We have a tendency to hurry up only at the end. We become so active when something is very close to us. We become so committed to the work. Today the day started with tension. Tension, because I have to display the five teaching learning materials in mathematics. Though the materials are ready but it is the output of a night effort.

It is during 4^th period where we have to display our materials. We arranged the class in such a way where we have selected the corner to display the work. Our group has selected near the door. Madam came to the class and started to evaluate the materials. And to my surprise, our materials found to be suitable enough to teach the students in lower class. I did explanation on the materials. And our group has got 8 out of 10. And we were relieved with the work and satisfied.

The disaster that sickened my psychological beauty

Dance is my passion and I like it. With interest, dedication, diligence and commitment I use to dance all the time. It is not that a person should be perfect in the steps if he or she is interested in dancing. It is absolutely incorrect. We enjoy dancing because we learn new steps and we feel the difference.

Today I practiced the dance with many reasons.

1. To develop skills

2. It is my passion

3. To refresh

4. It is for the teacher’s day and I was with the hope to wish my teacher in the form of dancing.

But it did not go well. Everything was deteriorated. Things never come to one who wishes the most it is true, I realized. It is actually true to say it is hard to love someone and never to be loved in return. Everyone has a right to raise their voice, this I agree. But one should not take advantage over it. One should know when to raise voice and for whom to raise voice, what to say and what not to say. If one is not aware of it disaster comes to one’s life and to others.

I was badly rejected by my dance partner. I was actually trying my best in my own way. But the thing is she wants me to do as she wishes. I have to follow her instruction like small kid of 4 to five years that I don’t like. She tried to push and pull as my steps did not go well. She frowned frequently. And she screamed like an animal. I somehow tried to tolerate over those things but it did not work as and when it goes on and on. I was embarrassed, annoyed, low and passionless. And felt the butterfly in my stomach. And she insisted me to add fuel on the fire. My anger broke into violence that indeed resembles the disaster. And it rather gave me a tension and psychological trauma. So I have quitted from the world of dancing due to her domination over me. But its okay she was doing it for her satisfaction.

April 30, 2014 Wednesday

Tension is actually not a tension if we view it positively

Tension is considers to be a tension if we view it with tension and tension is not a tension if we view it positively. Tension is actually one of the factor which helps to activate and break the dormancy period of we human being. If I share why I don’t consider the tension as tension is, today I am presenter to present the “project method” to the class. But I did not practice and I found I have limited ideas on that topic. So I started to have burden of tensions on my head. With that tension I was not able to enjoy the good sleep like other nights. I woke up early in the morning at 5am. And I started to lock on my laptop and did practice for several times till breakfast.

So then I was confident enough to go with my presentation. It was during the first period I did start my presentation with formal greeting. I talked, explained in a very detail and fluent way. So I never let my tutor and friends to overtake by boredom. I found they were paying best attention to me. And I end my presentation by playing inspirational quote. Moreover I am really happy to have positive feedbacks from my tutor on fluency of language and he told me to sit at the back with him instead of sitting in the front. But I said it is comfortable enough to sit in the front. But he teased me karma Deki. But I simply stayed quite.

This is the output of my tension if we take it in a positive way. Every second has value in it try to utilize it. Last minute makes a great difference. Never give up you on the work that you are to be done, let the work be given up on the stamina you are with.

May 1, 2014 Thursday

Today is very important day for me. It is very big day for me and I should take it seriously and I did as per the wishes I made. It is the day to celebrate in fact and day to have smile and laughter on me. And I did it too. The day is part of me, gifted by the god. The day is happy and that happiness is the moment and that moment is today. Today is actually the day where my beloved darling was freed by the god from nonfiction world to the fiction world. That is from her mother’s womb to the world we are celebrating hitherto. It was my long felt desire and painstakingly awaited moment to make a wish on this day. Today I woke up early in the morning at around 5:30 am and wished her lines of wishes to her. Wish to rest happiness on her soul and good life to happen in her existence.

Moreover I was indeed happy to start study for upcoming exam. I read a chapter on play. And as usual I enjoyed normal teaching in the class till lunch. These days I am stressing on the current issues happening in our country and I was half day rooted in college library finding the information and speeches spoken by the distinguished people.

By going through their speeches I found it is helping me to enhance tenets of pragmatism. And I started to have passion on it. I thought of going to witness sorcerer. But I was indeed exhausted; rather I came straight to room and had short snap. And that refreshed me and get rid from drowsiness and born activeness.

I was highly honored by the invitation made by 4^th year friend Passang Namgye for delicious dinner in the canteen from his pocket. So your mercy and power of friendship will never be forgotten. Tomorrow is teacher day and I received wishes from my friends in advance and I did too.

May 2^nd 2014 Friday

Today the day is special and indescribable. The day is leader, light and god in my life. I am saying this with my heart and head as I feel it is truth that can’t be hidden. Today is celebrates as teachers day. And I did celebrate in the college. I was really fortunate to be a part of this world and the part of people. I have at least a room to step in and potential to serve tsa wa sum. The path has already paved by the wholesome minded teachers and I am now in the middle of road trying my best to fulfill my painstakingly desired vision. I was positioned in this way by my beloved teachers. And I will never forget the hardships, concern and responsibility being taken by our teachers to shape the way we are now.

Therefore I wholeheartedly turned up to dance one song in the name of all the teachers in the world as a tribute for their wholesome action leading the whole innocent youth to the world of miracle.

Today I was very happy and the sea of satisfaction has indeed dragged me in. I prayed the eternal happiness and glories to rest in the soul of all the teachers in the world. And we sang happy teachers day together with smile in the face and gratitude in our heart.

A call from Pema Chophel……………

I was busy following the direction of ball as I was ball boy whose work to collect ball when it is out of the ground. Suddenly I heard the ring tone. And it was pema chophel saying me to come there. And he said that there is some urgent thing to talk with me. I was excited to hear something from him. As I reached there he came closer to me and said there is a girl who wants her to talk with me. And I was shocked as I don’t have any girl. And he said again she is your darling’s friend and I was relieved then. And we journeyed down. There were three girls sitting nearby high school. We introduced and spent around an hour. After that we went for walk toward army colony and down to public ground. We were indeed happy to meet for the first time and became known to each other. We came back to high school as they have not celebrated teacher’s day. By then it was 5:30 pm and we departed with smile and words of good bye.

May 3, 2014 Saturday

Today our class has played football match with 4th year. And I was one of the players. It was in fact a tough match I should say. They were playing with full effort. But we really gave them a challenging match. We played in scorching sun and we were really tired. Sweat started to run from all over the body. At last we won the match with 3 and 1 goal.

Surprising talk

It was indeed shocking and surprising news to hear. It is all about my future and my life. At around 6pm I received a call from my sister pelden. I thought it’s all to do with normal thing but it was not. She told me about marrying me with someone who actually known to me. She said like I have to marry with her. I was really shocked as she is very small and she is studying at the same time.

Moreover she had let me to talk with her mother. And I said like it is very important to continue her to study. But she said she doesn’t want to go to school and nothing is getting from the school. At last I said it is not that I don’t love her but I will be grateful if she could wait for me at least as I don’t want to kill their feelings and sentiments.

College gem session

Today we had a gem session in the college. It was really fun and enjoyment. My friend from 4^th year has come up with two new faces partner. And I enjoyed dancing with them.

May 4, 2014 Sunday

Starting of my day was boring. I was having perpetual sleep and what happened was my roommate has awakened me at 4am. He said it is time for us to go and prepare bathub. I was having pain in all over my body due to the football match we had in previous day. I said I am not able to go there as I am having severe pain. But he said like he will deduct 50% stipend. I was in reluctant mood but I with second thought decided to go there. As I stepped out of room I felt there was chilly weather, I wear sweater and made my way toward kitchen. We started to to prepare bathub. Some they mixed the flour with water and squeezed. And some of us started to make puri for us. I felt drowsiness in between but it remains for a short duration after listening for some romantic jokes cracked by friends. We did our work till 7am. By then everything was ready and we together ate puri. And I started back to my room and slept. It was 12pm when I was again awaken. I started down to ground as our class was conductor (ball boy).

On other hand I was really happy as I met my friend Dophu Tshering. We talked for a while watching football match. And he said the ground is very plain.

May 5, 2014 Monday

The day was foggy, cold and cloudy. I thought the rain may fall but it was not. I wear sweater. It was rather hot day. I felt like I am in the melted iron. I came back to hostel as soon as it was break for the lunch and changed my shirt. Today I was not able to eat lunch as usual. The appetite was totally lost from me. I ate just three to four spoons. Soon after I reached in the room I journeyed down to library. There I stayed alone looking for information’s. I have downloaded many inspirational and short video clips. There I stayed around 3 to 4 hours.

As I looked through my watch it was 4:20 pm. It was almost time for me to start football match that is to play with final year arts. I have shutdown my laptop and went to hostel. Friends were all in uniform. I did dress up and together we moved down.

We started our match and surprisingly our team has given one goal to them. We played with hope and determination. But they have given the counter attack and we were one goal each. It was really hopeless to happen as one of our friends got hand and they have given a chance to do penal kick. They did not miss it. They indeed pressurized us and at last again given one goal. We tried our best with all the strength and stamina but could not defeat and win the match. I was satisfied by the way our players played in a decent and active manner. Winning and losing is the part and parcel of the game. We have the courage to win the match at the same time we managed how to accept the loser or victim.

6^th may, 2014 Tuesday

It was serene, dark and fresh. Nobody was there in an around. I was only the one a part of that silence. It was 4am when I woke up. I shut on my computer and went through play chapter 3. But I did not get anything as I was drowned in the world of drowsiness. I tried to read with the hope of getting something but could not. The power of drowsiness has indeed carried me away. I slept again and it was around 7am when I woke up. I washed my face and dressed up followed by breakfast.

These days the class is monotonous as it is dominated by the English and social studies presentation. I was placed at the back of the class by social study teacher. And nothing is getting in rather drowsiness is always circling in me.

Today we had only two periods. I went to library soon after second period. I rooted there for around 5 hours downloading something. I did not go to take lunch rather I told semtob to have my share.

At around 4pm I went to hostel. I was really hungry and I searched for food. The food was cold. But I ate it. Soon after that I slept and went to the ground for witnessing.

But I was really sad as Dechen’s mother was seriously sick and admitted to hospital. I hope and pray that everything will be okay.

7^th may, 2014 Wednesday

Today I was awakened at 4:30 am by the noise of thunder. I was scared and shivered. I felt the direction of wind from every direction and I felt like it is in the time of tempest. The sign and symptom of that foul weather was still exists in the morning. It disturbed the whole scenario. It has dismantled the electrical appliance. So there was not power in the college. We wholly depend on the power. Where there is no power there is no work. So we call off the whole periods. We ran up and down doing no work.

Today I was server and I served the friends till dinner. In fact there was not effective work done by me but at around 4:30 pm I went to library and studied play. I was studying play chapter 4 but I was distracted by the light as it went off.

I called Dechen with the concern where her mom was seriously sick. Fortunately I heard her mother was okay and I was happy.

May 8, 2014 Thursday

I feel the day is everyday these days. I say this because I feel the days are almost going in the same way. I feel the weather is also in same mood as I am. Now it is becoming my trend to wake up early in the morning. I feel really easy to wake up early and learn something new to happen something new. Today I wake up at 6am and everything happened as usual.

I thought we don’t have class in the first period. But Nidup told me Madam will be taking class instead of second period. No one has got information about having class in the second period. I passed them message.

Soon after the time of breakfast I heard bold sound of thunder and seen the big round of cloud circling the whole scenario. The whole environment is surrounded by an inky cloud. I thought I won’t make my way to class as I don’t have umbrella. Fortunately there was not heavy rain rather it was just a drizzling.

The period was taken by English Madam and I enjoyed listening to the shared type of reading strategy. Madam also takes us through brief advertisement that will be learned in the upcoming class. The following periods were free so I just went to library and have a looked at some latest news.

I even looked at very inspiring piece of writing as given below:

Words of wisdom

I have learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is upon to them. I have learned that no matter how much I care, some people don’t care back. I have learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I have learned that it’s not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts. I have learned that you should not compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.

I have learned that it’s not what happens, to people that’s important it’s what they do about it. I have learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.

I have learned that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. I have learned that it’s a lot easier to re act them it is to think. I have learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them. I have learned that you can keep long after you think you can’t.

Mother is the name for god in the in the lips and heart of little children.

May 9, 2014 Friday

Zhabdrung Kuchoe

My tribute to Zhabdrung

Today is the special and a big day for us to consider. Today is the day where it gives us an opportunity to pay our tribute for a very special person and the backbone builder of our nation. He is not rather than a great person known by the name Zhabdrung Ngawang Namgyel. He came to Bhutan in 1616 when our country was yet not unify. The situation of our country was rather ups and down before his arrival. There were lots of civil war taken place and people were living with bunch of tensions and worries. But these hardships remained no more alive soon after an emergence of very specialized hero called Zhabdrung. He brought sheer changes in the field in terms of decentralization of power and unification of the power. The seeds of happiness has flourished over the whole kingdom an people were respectable to each other like the members of one family.

Therefore I would like to thank our God or Nation builder Zhabdrung for his special, useable, remarkable and informative reminiscence for making our country a better living place today.

Today in this very auspicious day, four of us visited to samtse lhakhang to view thongdrel. It was almost 10:40 am when we reached down. We worshiped through special bowing. And we even got inside the lhakhang and worshiped for the welfare of all the sentient being. We came back and went to the restaurant and had special lunch under the sponsorship of Mr. Nidup.

I found the day was very fun as we enjoyed to the fullest. We took lots of photo on the way back to college. We took photos with special posture under the super guidance of Mrs. Deki and Yoenten. I was almost exhausted as I reached to college colony. So I undressed and had snap.

May 10, 2014 Saturday

Today I enjoyed and learned something new from the presentation presented by the final year’s friends and PGD Friends on the topic beauty of chemistry. They navigated us through the advantages of chemistry and on the other side they did talk us about the disadvantages and use of knowledge on negative purposes like nuclear weapon. They said that the first country who came up with nuclear weapon was USA. So when other country knew about the invention of nuclear weapon they also committed to come up with nuclear weapon and they achieved. They said like this weapon is even existed in Bhutan in haa and yoenphula. They screened us the documentary movie too. I should say it is meaningful and effective.

Saturday was actually a tiring day to us. The day always involved me to do something. But it is something special. Special because we use to do very important work which can benefit the whole college and upgrade the name and fame of the college. It is to do with voluntary work to maintain the guest house. We spent around two hours to make plain in an around the guest house. And the sun was scorching but we did not give up doing work. And I did relieve as I have the notion that I have some achievement.

May 11, 2014 Sunday

Unforgettable, regretful and dangerous day

May 11, 2014 Sunday is something like nightmare and dream for me. I feel regret to mention the incident that happened to me and the worrisome I tolerated. I indeed felt that my destination of life gets end today. The incident took place in this way. We wake up early in the morning at around 4:30 am and went to mess for preparing Bathub as we usually prepare. We together prepared the bathub and we enjoyed puri too. In the process of taking Puri some of our friends said that we are going to play foot ball between the aged and young stars group that is within our class members. So we had puri and returned to hostel for the dress up. We went down and we started playing game. We started playing the game in a decent manner. And our team has given them two goals and they are with one goal. But we continued playing game. Unfortunately our friend has kicked the ball and the ball was on the air so I went there with full speed to receive the ball with heading, unfortunately their defender Pema Ricky has kicked the ball and his force was on the ball and ball hit on my left eye. It was really painful so I helplessly fallen on the ground. Everything was silent and I sense only the darkness in me. I tried to look at the sky thinking that it was a joke but nothing was there in the sky. I looked around my friends but I was not able to see them rather i heard their voices. Then I compared with my right eye. I could see everything like light in the darkness where as everything is different and danger for the left eye.

I started to scare and directly went out of the ground and went to prayer flag stand where our girls were sitting. And they too were there as an audience. I showed to them with shivering hand. I heard Deki was saying Yaaaaa,,,,,yaaaaaa that further sacred me. They said like I should go to hospital immediately. So Nidup, Pema Chophel, pema Dendup and Semtop hired a vehicle from canteen uncle and he lifted us to hospital. There sister said the eye is delicate and you have to care it. So I realized and finalized I will never play football henceforth. Sister told me there is continuous bleeding above the eyeball. And I asked whether I will be blind but she said no. she covered my eye with bandage together with ice water. After 10 minutes I was better. I could see the whole surrounding white. Gradually I could see tube light followed by the people around me. I was relived then. But everything was not in normal, rather appeared blur. I was taken in to hospital from watt and doctor said I have to come tomorrow morning.

Friends let me thanked you all for the concern, cooperation and care rendered to me. Your absence might have created even blindness on my life. It is you and your prayers that still present me a normal person to the world we are living. And you helped me to born back the hopes, aspirations and vision as before. Thank you so much for everyone who concerns me in your heart though you never told me in lips.

Above all thank God for considering my problems and visiting to me in the form of caring friends, nurses and doctor. Your help and blessing will never be forgotten.

I don’t know how to describe the day. To say it as dream it is not. But the scene was like in the dream which is unexpected. When the incident took place meantime, I thought I was only the victim in the eye of the whole world but when the second incident, natural disaster occurred at 6pm I thought the world celebrate the farewell today. Disaster like heavy cyclone has started taking away the beauty of an environment. The mixture of heavy rain, wind and storm has taken away the trees, building and vehicles. All the electrical appliances were under the big tress and the whole samtse town overtaken by the black clouds.

May 12, 2014 Monday

This day things are twisted. I mean the scenario of the environment is completely in the critical stage. Due to yesterday’s disaster it has caused a sheer damages on the houses and the vegetation in an around. Some houses were in the form of skeleton and some people were homeless. Today I went to hospital for an eye checkup with Nidup. We found prominent damages in an around the street. People were in the verge of clearing the road and some people were fully involved in maintaining electric pole that were being damaged from the harsh cyclone.

As soon as we reached there we found the staffs at hospital were busy doing social work and we have been waited there for half an hour. After that I went to optical room and there was a sister she checked and told me nothing serious is there. She told me to take medicine and eye drop. I went to dispensary and took the required medicine and we came back.

As we entered into the college compound we found our friends were busy doing work. We directly knew the class being call off. Some they were carrying logs and some they were clearing the branches of woods. But I directly came to hostel and took rest.

Some of my friends told me to play football. But I was totally against playing football and I decided I will not play it through the life. Hope I will not break my promises…………

Today I knew GNH is when we have a sense of:

1. IDENTITY

2. SECURITY

3. PURPOSES

May 13, 2014 Tuesday

Today we had social study in the first period. Semtob and I went to the class as he was to do presentation. As we went to the class we found our friends were return from the class saying that teacher is not there. I went straight to the library. But there was not net in the lab. Most of the friends went back to the hostel. I was in the lab browsing through the current news. But the time was up and I went to English class where we studied sound. I found sounds of letters are very interesting. We enjoyed singing the sounds together along with madam.

It was time for lunch after we attained mathematics class. I enjoyed lunch and again I went to lab and enjoyed face book. There I spend the time around 2 hours. It was around 6:30 pm we gather in auditorium to watch a movie BAYEL Directed by Tshering Gyeltshen. And I found the film was somewhat interesting which displayed the moral for the youth of the Bhutan.

May 14, 2014 Wednesday

Today I was happy as I am feeling good compare to yesterday. I was recovered from the eye injury. Everything was normal where class began with presentation by Semtop and other friends. And it was followed by English class.

Today I took a responsibility of ball boy. And we had a football final between Pgdb and 3^rd year primary. Pgd won the game.

Today I contacted with my dearest Dechen. And I was waiting for her back call.

May 15, 2014 Thursday

To my dearest queen, the gift of god………..

Till these days I drowned in the sea of twisted relationship

I suffered a lot, cried a lot, betrayed a lot and weaken a lot

I have given them the preserved love, the essential part of my life

They enjoyed till they find the better person than me

They flirted on the blossomed rose till they get fade up with it

And they turned up to strangers when they found new pattern of rose

I don’t care, I don’t regret, I don’t beg and I don’t want to block their way

I don’t have freedom to shed my tears to make them emotionally sick of me

I did the positive thing to the best and served the duty of man before, its period

“Now it’s time for you to wake up Pema”. My heat heard and felt it

I have opened you a door for many times but you could not preserved one

You freed the precious jewel, gold and diamond got from that door

But don’t regret, I am indeed happy to know your philosophy.

I too regretted for being opened the doors

I too concerned, what if you have chosen one among these

Now I relieved, you have chosen none of them

Now I satisfied you were happy rather than disheartened

Now I trust you because you are not simply sitting

Now I develop a confidence and you are the perfect person I ever found

So it’s my duty to give you perfect partner, so to have perfect life

Hope you will not regret admitting her name openly.

I have preserved her from the day she opened her eye to this world

She is gentle by nature, cute, frank and caring

She has a lifestyle somewhat like you, she is fatherless

But her mother is everything for her and she is a baby for her mother

Her name is Dechen

Oh! Dechen? Do I know her? Do we once meet? Did we talk once? Who is she?

Pema don’t stick on happened things, keep it happened aside

Now enjoy the one that I have blessed you

Don’t get astonish, don’t feel guilty, don’t be so nervous and think aloud

Be proud of the gift I have addressed you and address your gift to the world

Please, please, please Pema you can do it. I heard from within.

For the world’s information we were like head and tail of the coin

We were known to one another but we treated like brother and sister

I gave her the very special qualities I preserved

The qualities of love, care, trust and hope

I had been waiting for this moment to come, so it did happen today

I had been eager to welcome her and feel her presence

It is true that when one door gets closed another open

Big responsibility has indeed touched my feet to decide the good one

With inferential and evaluative thought I did it

Thank God she is mine, the queen of my heart.

With pure heart and soul, let me pray for god:

Not to befall any problems in our life

To prevail unconditional love

To sail in the sea of happiness and blissful life

To have our destined destination

To have our everlasting relationship

To have good understanding

Dear god thanks for everything you offered me

I will not let it go like three precious things (jewel, gold and diamond).

May 16, 2014 Friday

Don’t listen to anybody……

The world is corrupted, so people were corrupted

Respond to what you feel within and don’t let others to influence you

There are people who are targeting to pull you down

There are people who feel proud of your failure

There are people who don’t like the way you do and

There are also people who never get chance to criticize you

I know the true color of the people so the new philosophy born within

I will think and I will not think aloud

Let the people blame, gossip and do whatever they like it’s their duty

I don’t care and I will do as I wish, nothing can restrict my life

Talk less and think more is my philosophy

World is in the verge of changing to the large extent

And it is my duty to go with the changes

Keep going but never be the free rider

ry to grow with time and be mindful of qualitative chang

Today I watched a movie, from that I got something very special

1. Every dog has its own day to bark and today is my turn.

For example you have got an expansive car where it is actually unexpected.

2. You and me watch geography channel and there we most of the time find dear being chased by tiger. So people they prayed for the dear s escape. And as soon as dear escape from tiger people relived, put off the television and started to butcher chicken and eat. What is the difference between chicken and deer? It’s so happened that tiger is the animal where ones hardly challenge.

May 17, 2014 Saturday

Today my heart got a nice touch. But it does not mean that I am talking about the girls or any romantic thing. I mean the day was good. I really liked and enjoyed the day. The day was first followed by Morning Prayer. And it was amazing to be a part of today’s debate which was held between CST and our college on the topic GNH is mandatory to have and vice versa.

I was deeply touched by their talent in raising the appropriate points and the way they speak. And I was indeed influenced by their speech. Moreover it is good to hear that our college won the debate followed by best speaker.

Although it was very hot to be in the congested room but with our passion we have got lifelong knowledge.

I would say it is fake promises

Soon after I was badly injured I promised not to play football anymore. I tried to keep my promises alive. But no matter how much I tried I could not hold it for so long. I felt like I am more of artificial if I don’t play football. Actually I know the bitter experience I had and the pain I experienced. But as a teacher I felt it is one of the wholesome education that is very important for us especially teacher. Some of my friends are saying me to play and they also said like you have to play when situation demands you to play. So I realize it and I started to play again.

God forgive me for not being able to keep my promises alive and I hope everything will go smoothly. I pray for GOD not to befall any problems while playing and any other acts. You are always alive for everyone and you are everything for us.

May 18, 2014 Sunday

Today the day was really packed and it was really a challenging. I spent whole day doing work on play materials. I think for the topic and I planed of making it in a presentable way. So I did it and finally the product of one day work was indeed productive and I learned a lot form it.

I have really missed my dear and I make a call and around an hour we talked. It was really sad to hear that she is missing me a lot and she is busy counting down the days to end. And I too missed her and I am hoping to meet her soon after long time back.

May 19, 2014 Monday

My reflection on reading book

I have read the book titled ‘living with honor’ written by well renounced writer, sheive khera. The book was so inspiring, evaluative, educative and wholesome. The words, lines and statements reflected in that book were so influential. It navigates me through the positive thinking, integrity and sympathy and fairness ways of living. He prominently stressed that these are an inevitable factors we should take into account, in order to have dignified way of living. And the book has indeed helped me to evaluate and reflect my way of living. Many questions started to strike on me. I realized the answers for the questions can be answered only after achieving the above mentioned factors.

I personally felt the book was philosophical, moral oriented and milestone for living our life in honor.

I am really happy and fortunate to be a part of this book. I found many words; lines and statements are really touching and influential. So the most touching statements I singled out from page number 43 of the book is:

When you have the confident to win, you must generate the ways to face the victim

When you have the power to love someone, have courage to face rejection

When you have the courage to speak, have courage to listen for others

And when you have the courage to angry, have courage to tolerate others.

The above mentioned lines really remind me of the way I live in this motherly earth. It reminds me of being mindful about my conduct, dispositions, self reliance and purpose of my living. It questions me like am I doing good things which are worthwhile to others? Am I respecting others? Am I selfish? Etc. it is true that people are so selfish and careless of their doings. People tend to forget even the closest friend sitting right behind their nose if they are to achieve their own work; People forget to forgive their evil deeds even they have mistaken. Today the single world is suffocating and tolerating an infected people. People were infected by the selfishness. And people are carrying away by the wind of selfishness to the sea of problems.

It is true and it’s becoming the fact of the world. The youths are becoming hooligans. They are abusing drugs, breaking things, gang fights, suicide and breaking the rules. Why they are doing these things? Is it happening for no reasons? Everything happens and happens for some reasons. I personally feel and experienced that youth are with the preconditions of mind to get everything as per their wishes. They have the courage to love someone but no courage to face rejection; they have the courage to win but have no courage to face the victim; they have the courage to angry but have no courage to tolerate and they have the courage to speak but have no courage to listen others speaking. This backwardness draws them to the world of mischievous. So by going through the heart and soul of this book it really helped me to evaluate the true color of me.

May 20, 2014 Tuesday

Title of the book: Helping the dying

Author: Sangay Khandu

Excerpt from the book: It is certain that we must leave the world, one fine day. But we don’t know when to leave and how to leave. The writer has clearly mentioned that death is so much of pain. People suffer a lot before he or she die. People experience the pain and regrets. So people try to reveal many truth and facts when he or she is in death bed. So the book is all about supporting the people when he or she is at the last stage of his or her life. When he or she is crying, screaming, shivering, scaring and suffocating with severe pain. The book says, they greatly need us during that time. And our presence will help them to die in a less painful manner.

Response: Human beings have the common tendency where one’s feels an essence of friends when he or she is at problems. We never realize the importance of someone when we are happy, comfortable and wealthy. At the same time people needs more than everything when he or she is at the critical stage of life, when he or she is at hospital or at death bed. I do remember when I was a little kid and I remember my mother was sitting nearby grandfather. I found my grandfather was always resting on the bed and mother was always helping him.

Unfortunately the day had come where my grandfather was seriously ill. I heard him crying and uttering something to my mother. I found he was so pale, shivering and scaring. I found my mother was sitting beside him holding his hand. Mother uttered a words like you will be okay soon, you will not die and you are strong enough. To my surprise, I found he was smiling to us. There was not screaming, scaring looks and shivering body. After an hour I found he was completely silent. I touched him and I felt the coldness and hardness in him. I found my mother was crying and I knew he was dead. So when I realized the unforgettable scene of my mother she was actually helping my grandfather to die in a peaceful way. Now I do realize it is very crucial to make our presence when someone is sick and crying with severe pain.

21 May 2014 Wednesday

Title of the book: Work is most valuable teacher.

Author: Daen Mahamongkol

Excerption from the book: All work in the worldly way and in the Dhamma way, if repeatedly done with perseverance, with humility and faith, wisdom, mindfulness and concentration together with sincere and pure intention, the result of such work are bound to generate great power, highest auspicious blessings in great power, highest auspicious blessings in great abundance for oneself and the whole of humanity throughout the earth.

Response: it is very important to take all work, big or small, much or little is an extraordinary power and an excellent tool to help develop life mind, giving humanity and our selves the opportunity to have a great inner wealth of perseverance. However I don’t consider all the work equally. What I do is I use to ignore, give less important to those work which I feel is simple. And I feel reluctant to do work sometimes. Work is the stimuli which stimulate the undiscovered strength we have. Work has power, value and importance in our everyday life. Work, obstacles and problems are the foremost way to bring about a wealth of experience enabling us to penetrate the essence of supreme knowledge.

The scientists have proved that one who does not work will not meet with problems. One who does not have problems is one who does not work. One who does not work will not develop one’s life and mind. As a human being we have to be mindful of our work and we have to respect it. As a human being you and I have the tendency to differentiate the work. We normally use to ignore the simple one thinking that it is easy and not important. But the thing is we regret after knowing that we have mistaken the simple thing that we ignored. During exam time I use to refer the complicated thing and when I see the question I use to find simple question which I don’t know how to solve in reality. So this book has indeed encouraged me to remind me of considering all types of work equally.

21 May 22, 2014 Thursday

These days I am not thinking beyond the four walls of class room. I am no more in the world of fantasy. Works are piling up and tensions are countless. We are now in the verge of doing project displays, presentation, assignments and we have a lot to go with others works. Exams are coming near to us and we have got limited time for the preparation.

Today we have display on play materials. I was doing this preparation for so long and today I displayed in front of my friends. And I was satisfied with the display I made. And I hoped my mates have enjoyed as I have enjoyed their materials.

Moreover we have submitted an assignment on mathematics. And we have somehow reduced the burdens.

Again we have one more project to display that is on project method. Hope it will go smoothly.

23 May 2014 Friday

Today we have displayed our assignment on project method. We have been doing this project for a month. But we have the tendency to keep this at an eleventh hour. Due to this habituated nature we faced difficulty in completing our task in require time. Anyhow due to our hard work and cooperation we could make out our display a presentable and educative one.

But one saddest thing was while lecturers were evaluating our displays they were not going through the documentation part. I thought they will go through it in detail and assess marks on how well it is written. But they were not giving a good consideration on it. So by experiencing such thing I really get sad and it really de motivates me, leading to lowering my self esteem.

Frankly speaking, I have done this documentation part with sleepless night. But it was somehow gone useless without knowing how and why. I pray and hope it will not continue the same thing in the upcoming displays.

Human being doesn’t see the positive thing; they rather see the negative thing out of positive thing. They try to drag someone’s leg and try to lower their name and fame that has been restored with pain and sorrow.

24 May 2014 Saturday

Today I don’t have any special thing to share to the world and to my friends who take the platform of this beautiful world. But I want to share my mercy towards special needs children in the form of short poem, the poem dedicating to special needs children of the world.

They were born with same interest like us but they

Lack the very mobility like we have

They have the keen to show their talents to the world, unfortunately

They were so behind with the fine and gross motor they possessed

They are daring to see their special one but they can’t see them

They have the dispositions to pay attention on the thing they are doing but

The ADHA disorder never let them independent and free

They have an eager to hear the history of how they born and the world

But they are equal to one having no ear

They struggle when we are enjoying

They wipe their tears when we feel the taste of happiness

They see the darkness when we are enjoying the warmness of light.

So let us don’t create the dividing lines between us and them

Let us not criticize for how they are, who they are and the way they are born and brought up with

Who knows the life may be like taking turns in the play

Who knows we may be them once

And take the sufferings of them

Be treated them like parents, siblings and you

25^th may 2014 Sunday

I was somehow relaxed today, as I have completed my SST work. I went to library to edit my work. But as I reached there I heard someone is talking and whispering about project. They are talking that in the assignment they have to write questions which is more of open ended. But my most of the questions are yes or no question. After hearing their talks it really stimulates me to change my whole questions which consumed my time around 3 hours.

26^th may 2014 Monday

Today I have submitted my work which I have spent for many hours. I was indeed happy to complete my work as I was able to do it in the best manner.

I was not feeling well as I was having quarrel with my friend from my class due to small reason. It was actually my fault as I could not tolerate for so long. He was saying something which crossed my limit of temper.

I like to maintain the very silence in me but they force me to be friendly and open. The day has again forced me to change the very dictum I have and insists me to follow silent, serene and different life.

27 May 2014 Tuesday

Today the day was packed as other activities were there apart from the academic work. We have practiced a lot for the upcoming college foundation day which is going to be celebrated on 29^th May, 2014. These days I have participated in two items that is Rigser and Boedra. I have found the boedra was really interesting.

Today I read the lines written by Dalai Lama

A precious human life………

“Everyday thinks as you wake up

Today I am fortunate to have woken up

I am alive

I have a precious human life

I am going to use all my precious energies

To develop myself

To expand my heart to others

To achieve enlightenment

For the benefit of all human beings

I am going to have kind thought towards others

I am not going to get angry or think badly about others

I am going to benefit others as much as I “CAN”.

“Think that you are a gift of god and don’t forget to thank him.”

Things to keep in mind

It’s not the color of your skin

But the color of your character

It’s not the language you speak

Buts the words you use

It’s not where you live

But how you live there

It’s not where you have been

But how you get there is important.

May 28^th 2014 Wednesday

Today the day was very boring as they day come to an end till the end. Till 4^th period we were fully involved in academic work. But after lunch I came to hostel and sleep till 4pm. I wake up and went through mathematic notes and practiced for around half hour.

Today I am feeling not well as I am having little cough and cold. But I went down to auditorium to practice dance for upcoming foundation day (tomorrow)

May 29, 2014 Thursday

It was indeed a great and pleasure to be a part of today’s day. Today is the day where our college was first put for warded as SCE. College has produced good numbers of teachers and served across the kingdom with best and meaningful teaching. I was indeed satisfied and fortunate to be a part of this day.

Many high officials were visited our college to celebrate the day. The main chief guest was vice chancellor and he has made our day a happy ending with best speech. If I reflect back his speech, he stated that if you don’t know how to learn you cannot make other people to learn and you cannot give what you not have. I think it is really touching and applicable for us as a teacher.

We danced and entertain our chief guest. Moreover our class has got champion class of 2014 with best trophy and amount of Nu. 5000.

Hurry! Hurry! Ha ha ha

30 May 2014 Friday

Alas! This day I am not feeling well. I feel coldness in me, shivering like anything and severe head ache is going on within me. I am fade up of running nose. What to do that is coughing cold. This cough and cold is disturbing me from studying and I hope soon I am going to be okay.

Due to this cough and cold I could attain first period and I did not go for rest of the modules. I slept whole day in my bed. However I could study around two chapters.

Hereafter I commit to study how badly my health to be. I want to get what I want. And I don’t want to be low after all.

31 May 2014 Saturday

Today I am really happy and fortunate to be a part of champion gathering. it was celebrated in our class at around 6:30 pm. We have invited our class advisor followed by English and math module tutor, madam Vijoy and Yangden. We share some important views and experiences about our class as a mass. I shared my feelings of satisfaction towards class cooperation and I thanked for rendering good cooperation by the friends in every field.

It was very good gathering. we played some games in circle. The game is to go with music, when the music is stop and whoever getting the thing has to share something that is being written in the piece of paper. We played and shared. Some danced, acted etc.

After that we have break for dinner and then I came back to hostel and took rest. But they were still in class.

June 1, 2014 Sunday

The day starts around 5:30 by playing foot ball match.

Went to market

Again played football

I went to prayer, as it is last prayer for this semester.

June 2^nd 2014 Monday

Today I want to talk about importance of play to the upcoming generations.

There are two ways relationship between play and development.

1. Development is served by play and development is seen in play

Through play children develop a lot. Development can take place both in physical and mental. When children play they make use of gross and fine motor and this leads to development of psychomotor and many other functional activities in body system. Moreover there can be development in mental. Play is activity oriented and through play many things can happen. They get to interact, socialize, adapt to rule, symbolize and take risk. So in that way vigorous and rapid development can take place in play. And development can be seen in play

Play leads to development and development leads to play.

3 June 3, 2014 Tuesday

Now a day I am suffering from exam sickness. Running here and there, jumping ups and downs for reading some notes.

Today I went to the library and studied play. I was indeed happy as i studied with my friend Karma Deki. We talked and share something and read the notes simultaneously.

Hope everything is going to be okay.

4 June 4, 2014 Wednesday

Today I was satisfied with the day. Everything was up to my satisfaction and I got what I supposed. Today my group has done teaching on division. I was happy to complete my teaching as everything went well. It was impressive and good way of teaching but the thing is we could not complete on time.

After having done with the teaching I went to lab for self study. There I spent my self study time with my friend Karma Deki. We spent around 4 hours.

Today I was bit sad as my beloved friend Dechen has lost her mobile. But she did mention that she is going to dial me through her mother’s phone.

June 5, 2014 Thursday

It is almost time for us to fight. Fight not literally means. It is all to do with our intellectual property. It is the fight that is to do with our brain. Now it is our time to sharp the very weapon to have the better outcome. So I am now in the verge of doing my best to prove my talent.

Today I studied English and mathematics the whole day with karma my friend.

And I supposed everything will come to the point as I wish.

May god help for those who help themselves?

June 6, 2014 Friday

Today the hold day was spending in the lab. I was rooted and became so tired nowadays. What to do it is all for my future and for my betterment. Do the best you can and don’t blame for what you are doing.

June 7, 2014 Saturday

Today I went to academic block to arrange the rooms for upcoming exam. And we spend around 3 hours. After doing this I went to lab and started to practice mathematics.

June 8, 2014 Sunday

The day is already right under my nose. It is only a night to enjoy the day that is exam day. Many days has passed by preparing for exam. I hope everything will come okay. And I am preparing for that every now and then.

Pema….you can do it, you have the talent. You can climb the topmost rung of the ladder.

June 19, 2014 Thursday

Sorry, I could not keep in touch with journal due some reasons. And today onwards I am going to continue my journal.

Hello, friends these days I am in Thimphu for summer vacation after six months stay in college. These days the day seems interesting as I am spending my days with my sister and my beloved brothers. On the top of that I am spending most of the days with my awaited angel Dechen. She is in the verge of doing her exams and I am supporting her through scaffolding the difficult portion.